Life is Like a Dojo
 
“Freedom is not required for virtue.  Virtue is required for freedom.”  -Anthony Esolen
 
Life is like a dojo. If you show up, and humble yourself, and learn and follow the rules, and try to get better then you will do well. You may not be a world champion, but you will improve and like what you see in the mirror.  Understand, the dojo is a metaphor for submitting yourself to something bigger than yourself so that you can become who you were meant to be. You may or may not do martial arts, but the analogy holds.  

Our backwards culture teaches us to never show up.  It teaches a false freedom.  It says you are the dojo teacher before you even accomplish anything.  In order to grow in virtue, and thus freedom, you have to first show up.  We have everything backwards.  Starting off, you don't know anything and you aren't anyone.  
 
As I’ve gotten older and wiser I see this all around me everywhere I go.   Many people never get much "dojo" in their life, and end up not having much of a life.  I happened to get some “dojo” here and there although I could have used more.  My parents guided me, my teachers guided me.  Church was good for me as was sports and I had some really good mentors. My other family members like my grandparents set a good example.  School and college were a guiding force for molding me in to something more, as was starting a business.  

Against the backdrop of this though, was a culture that pushed “individualism” and “freedom.”  It was always easy to have one foot in both worlds. One foot in the American delusional world of narcissism and one foot in the classical world of getting better.  The rhetoric about individualism and “freedom”, are even stronger now than they were as I was coming into my own in my 30s and 40s.  It’s even harder now for young people to “enter the dojo.”  Millennials are completely lost.  We live in an anti-culture, which is an anti-dojo.  
 
Is a person who never shows up really free?

• Trades are dojos, they teach people to do productive work.
• Work can be a dojo. 
• Marriages are dojos, they teach people to love, and create the next generation.
• Religious institutions are dojos, they form people into pursuit of ultimate values.
• Citizenship, real citizenship, of rights AND responsibilities is a dojo.
• Hobbies are dojos. 
• Other organizations like the military are dojos.  

 
Our culture makers want consumers, not citizens.  Consumers are not "martial artists", heck they aren't even artists at all.  Consumers are easy to control.  The "manipulators" as CS Lewis called them in "The Abolition of Man", want atomized, infantilized, pseudo-men and pseudo-women, who have no virtue and who cannot control themselves, subsisting on a life of hedonism, distraction, and stimulation, a masturbatory life of social media likes, pornography, junk food, drugs, alcohol, and hypnotizing but vulgar and nihilistic entertainment.  

This is what the famous book "A Brave New World" was about.  We are living in this "Brave New World" where hardly anyone shows up at the dojo in the first place.  This reversal of dojo values affects the poor the most.  You could even see the great shift towards anti-dojo values, which is towards anti-piety as a war on the poor.  I certainly do, because it strips them of their dignity.  A return to the dojo is a return to dignity and the least advantaged need it the most. 

When I look around at young people, I can easily see how they are lacking a positive structure like a “dojo” in their lives.  I have never been married, but I can see how a good marriage can be an excellent dojo, molding you into a better person.  As institutions (dojos) continue to decline, the ones that mold Americans into adults, ask yourself what you can do to support the revitalization of the “dojos” and what you can do to enter the “dojo” too.  Help others and urge them to "enter the dojo." So that way at the end of your life, you don’t look back with regrets at what might have been. The ship might sink but at least you can hold onto your honor.  
 
Life is like a dojo, if you enter and try, and keep showing up, you will at the very least know you did your best.  This type of peace of mind is priceless.  

Read Next: 10 Workouts You Can do For Free with No Equipment

​I came up with this list for a friend of mine, who was curious what he was going to do when he retired.  You may also enjoy reading it, or passing it on.  As I told him, 97 you won't want to do, but 3 may sounds appealing.  Enjoy!

1. Chess
2. Teach Golf
3. Learn Guitar
4. Learn Piano
5. Emory Lifelong Learning
6. New Degree
7. Shooting
8. Hunting
9. Fishing
10. Saltwater fishing
11. Exercise more 
12. Walking
13. Walking Around Atlanta
14. BRAG - Bike Ride Across Georgia
15. Hiking
16. State parks of GA
17. National parks of the US
18. Learn Spanish
19. Learn French
20. Learn Latin 
21. Gregorian chant
22. Rotary
23. Kiwanis
24. Lions
25. Masonic society
26. Religious practice
27. Meditation
28. Church groups
29. Men’s groups
30. Coffee meetups
31. Volunteer
32. Art classes
33. Art history
34. Art museums
35. History museums
36. Volunteer at a museum
37. Ultimate frisbee
38. New dog
39. Dog training
40. Paint
41. Draw
42. Travel
43. Play Golf
44. Cook
45. Cook for others
46. Feed the hungry
47. Pray
48. Ancestor research
49. Stand up comedy
50. Fix up an antique car
51. Ride 4 wheelers
52. Make new friends
53. Yoga
54. Read difficult books
55. Read all of the books of one author
56. Theatre
57. Acting
58. Memorize state capitals
59. Memorize all us presidents
60. Call old friends
61. Call family members
62. Call old teachers 
63. Visit sick people
64. Watch sports
65. Adopt a child
66. Adopt a pet
67. Get a bird dog
68. Learn to Turkey call
69. Go turkey hunting
70. Learn to do woodworking
71. Learn carpentry
72. Origami
73. Bonsai trees
74. Tai chi
75. Hike
76. Homeless shelter
77. Run for office
78. Non profit boards 
79. Greece
80. Swimming 
81. Camping
82. Boating
83. Canoeing
84. Appalachian trail
85. Sailing 
86. Italy
87. Russia
88. Mexico
89. Canada
90. Take an acting class
91. Write hand written letters
92. Take a philosophy course
93. Read the economist Thomas Sowell
94. Attend religious events other than your own religion’s just for education
95. Study vocabulary 
96. Braves day game 
97. Afternoon Tea
98. Take Naps
99. Weightlifting  
100. Join a choir

 


​"The impulse towards shame is the sign of community health, of an undefeated desire for honor and self-respect. It's absence is the opposite of these things.  A community that is in economic free fall, where work is non-existent and family life has disintegrated, is likely to be a place where shame and honor have lost their power, and men (especially men) are capable of almost any sort of self-destruction."  
 
- Wilfred McClay, Why Communities Decline

In honor of some celebrating "pride" month, I thought I would share a thought-provoking article with you below.  But first a little introduction.  

The opposite of pride is humility.  Shame is also closely related.  All three of these things could be bad or good, depending on how you look at them.  There's a place for pride if it's not pride of the ego.  There's a place for humility and even for shame.  If you did something you shouldn't do, you should feel shame.  Shame is an intense negative emotion caused by guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety.  There's a place for shame because we have all done things we shouldn't have. 

If you're proud of accomplishing something, or of your team doing well, or of your hometown, I don't see much harm in that.  If you're too proud to ask for directions, too proud to apologize or admit you're wrong, or too proud to admit you made a mistake, that's not good.  It's also good to be humble.  If you want to learn anything, you have to be humble at first, because you aren't going to know what you're doing at first.  

You can't show up at class the first day and start telling the teachers what to do.  It doesn't work that way in martial arts, and it doesn't work that way in life.  I don't care how "proud" you are, you still don't know what you're doing.

Should we do a half-ass job and be proud of it?

Should we be disrespectful towards our teachers, parents, and community leaders and be proud of it?

Should we disfigure our bodies and be proud of that?

Should we be proud, but lazy and blame everyone else for our problems?

Should we take pride in ourselves if there is nothing about us to be proud of?

Or should we take a look in the mirror and try to get up every day and be better and wiser?

I think I will choose the latter.  Isn't it ironic that a culture which is characterized primarily by its narcissism celebrates pride with parades, festivals, and corporate advertising?  We are to be "proud" of who we are, no matter what, even if we are not doing anything or becoming anything worthy of pride.  Meanwhile, there are millions of quiet heroes out there, humbly doing their jobs and getting better at their vocations and endeavors who get no parades in their honor.  I raise a glass to you all, wherever you are.  

There's a place for pride, but pride can also be the root of all evil.  For communities to be healthy, there needs to be a place for shame, honor, humility, and communal pride, normally known as patriotism.  Taking pride in your community and your work is one thing, but taking pride in the wrong things is narcissistic at best, and self-destructive at worst.   

Most things I've done that meant anything to me took a lot of humility, and the swallowing of pride.

This article was one of the most poignant I've read in some time about our culture and why communities like the ones we see around us decline.  "Why Communities Decline" by Wilfred McClay in the Modern Age Journal, Spring 2019.  

​Enjoy and let me know what you think!