I will be taking August off from blogging to do a bit of traveling, which I will fill you in on when I get back.  The main theme I've been focusing on this year in my health writing is freedom.  What is freedom and how do you get it?  Is freedom possible?  It's an ambitious topic but it's one I've enjoyed writing about.

We are going through some rapid changes in our world, and I think the topic of freedom is as relevant as ever when it comes to being healthy.  I've already gained so much wisdom in regards to the subject and I look forward to sharing more on health and freedom as we wind down the year.

Have a great rest of the summer!
Scott

                A few months back, I had a severe case of food poisoning.  I was so sick I could hardly move and was desperate.  Luckily, my good friend Terry came quickly and delivered some Gatorade, Saltine Crackers, and Bananas.  After 24 hours of lying in bed unable to budge an inch, that simple combination of food gave me just enough energy and replenishment so that I would be able to function again.   I was lucky in that I knew several friends I could call who would help me out.  That’s what friends are for and hopefully they know I would do the same.

                The classical view of friendship, one largely forgotten, was tied up in the common goal and in the virtue required towards its attainment.  Friendship was less about having fun together and more about survival or achieving a communal good.  In the traditional sense of human friendship, whether or not you admired a friend had as much to do with whether or not this person was someone who would help the group survive.  If your fellow tribesman, fellow warrior, fellow kinsman, or citizen had what it took to work with the group and achieve the goal- building a house, digging a well, farming and cultivating a certain plot of land, or something else, then this person would be deemed a good friend.  In the classical sense, a virtuous friend is a good friend. 

                A virtuous and worthy friend in the classical sense is:

• Dependable
• Strong
• Wise
• Courageous
• Skilled
• Honorable
• Honest
• Hardworking

                These group survival era traits were what it took in classical times to be a good friend.  These qualities are still admired in the modern era, but are less tied up in what it means to be a worthy friend.  The life of an individual free from any commitments to a tribe, family, city, kingdom, or group was not heard of until the last 100 or so years, and was not significantly common until the 1960s.  This "freeing up" of the individual of course had its many positives, but came with some trade-offs too.   So the definition of a friend has changed in that our lives are more individual and so the nature of friendship is different now too.

                Aristotle, who lived 500 years before Christ in Athens, Greece, believed that friendship was one of the most important things in life.  He saw 3 major types of friendship: 1) pleasure 2) utility (helping one another), and 3) admiration.  He saw friendships which were based on pleasure and utility, though a normal and at times necessary part of life, as being what they were- less about mutual “goodness” and more about temporary and fleeting pleasure or convenience.  Though he looked at utility and trade-based friendships as less noble than virtuous friendships, he also knew that virtue was linked up to what he called the “telos”, or man’s end.  In that sense, and also from a survival perspective, one could argue that Aristotle’s idea of utility-based friendship is linked with virtue.  To help achieve the group goal, a man had to be virtuous, at least in some sense, and so this in turn made him a good friend. 

Aristotle also saw friendship as something, like character, which took time and effort to develop:

“Wishing to be friends is quick work, but friendship is a slow ripening fruit.” - Aristotle 

He saw it as something that made life worth living:

“Friendship is a thing most necessary to life, since without friends no one would choose to live, though possessed of all other advantages.”  - Aristotle

 He saw friendship as requiring principled & ethical behavior, and values:

“A friend to all is a friend to none.”- Aristotle

Aristotle also saw friendship tied up in an ideal of behavior that would be good for the group, in his case the city of Athens:

“In the arena of human life, the honors and rewards fall to those who show their good qualities in action. - Aristotle”

                The modern view on friendship can still incorporate many of these same classical ideas but it is mostly tied up in entertainment.  Friends get together less and less to achieve something or because they admire each other and more to enjoy doing various things.  There isn’t anything wrong with this, but it is not as full of an expression of friendship as it could be.    If you are getting together with friends to shop, play golf, or go party, it may be fun, but it has little to do with a common goal or whether or not this “friend” is worthy of admiration.   

A common view on a worthy friend nowadays is based on relatively ephemeral qualities such as:

• Funny
• Good-looking
• Connected
• Entertaining
• Interesting
• Popular
• Flattering

                There is nothing at all wrong with these qualities but they do present to us a challenge in that they do not involve virtue or character.  What if we really need someone’s wisdom, or integrity, or commitment during a hard time?  Are these the friends that will provide the type of relationship we need?  Will these types of relationships last and make us better people?  What if they stop being funny, will we still value them?  How about if they become disfigured, or some terrible secret comes out that makes them unpopular?  What if they become poor?  Are they still worthy of friendship?  I think you catch my drift.

                Over time, I would say one of the most rewarding things for me has been getting to become closer to my parents.  I admire the many building and engineering things my Dad is capable of doing and the many skills and talents my Mom has as well.  We are now friends as well as family members and I genuinely admire my parents and their character, not necessarily because we have the exact same hobbies and interests, but because there is mutual admiration there.  The best kind of friendship, the best kind of love, is a love and friendship based on admiration of the quality of the other. 

                This is where I would like to wrap this discussion up.  Friendship is one of the most important things in life, quite possibly the most important thing.  People with close friends live longer and are happier.   Marriages based on friendship and mutual admiration tend to last and be more rewarding too.  The way we have built our society, where we don’t have to interact with people, even in our own homes, makes it very challenging to build strong virtue- driven friendships.    Social media and technology are solidifying further the walls between us by enclosing us in our own little "silos" of existence. 

                The state of the world we live in means we have to make a concerted, consistent, and intentional effort to build friendships with people we admire, so we will enjoy our lives and become better people along the way.  Re-read the above list of the classical virtues and keep them in mind when deciding who you will spend your time with.  It has been proven time and time again that the quality of our friendships determines the quality of the person we will become.   Stay committed to lasting and deep friendships, and you will be healthier, your friends will be healthier, and our world will be healthier. 
 
The following are some suggestions for building better friendships:

1. Join or start a book club and begin discussing philosophy.  This can be a great way to become wiser and to become more empathetic of other points of view.
2. Join a church and become involved in service projects or studies.  I recently started back going to church regularly, to a small Anglican church and have made some deep friendships already with people I admire and who are interested in things I am like philosophy, history, virtue, travel, and theology.
3. Lay out a project for business or pleasure, and pick friends to help you who have the qualities necessary to achieve the common goal.
4. Invite a friend to come and visit. 
5. Ask a friend to go a fitness-oriented trip together, like a hike or another challenging adventure and train together.  Several years ago I did the Bike Ride Across Georgia with some friends, which was a fantastic (and grueling) 420 mile experience. 
6. Start a band, join a martial arts club, or a civic club and work towards a goal with other people. 
7. Seek out a mentor and ask them to lunch.  Ask them if you can call them from time to time for advice.  I do this for several people and find it very rewarding.
8. Some so-called friends may need to be let go.  Some people are just overly negative, manipulative, or dishonest.  Some people drag you down and are not worthy of your time. 

 
Read Next: The 12 Commandments of Fitness

'The secret to freedom is obedience to the unenforceable.”- Lord Moulton

I know a man, let’s call him “Charles”, who can’t seem to get over the hump. He works out almost every day with “machines”, tries to eat healthy and is conscious of his doctor appointments. But for some reason, he can’t seem to lose any weight and become healthier and more energetic. His doctor told him that at 5’7, 217 pounds, even though his physical exam results came back ok, he is too heavy and that at 48 years of age it’s going to start affecting his life.

It’s hard not to like Charles. He has an infectious smile, keen wit, and he loves people. He is one of the most fun people in the world to play golf with, with his mildly inappropriate jokes, and his ability to make crazy shots on occasion. His 3 kids are precious, and his wife, who struggles with her weight too really loves him. What’s the problem? Why can’t he seem to make any changes?

He wants to be leaner. We wants to have more energy. He wants to be more confident. He wants to feel better. Why can someone like Charles who is disciplined at work and is a good parent, and who seems to have everything going for him, not seem to make any changes in his body?

Millions of Americans are just like Charles in that they are struggling with inherent insulin resistance which is tied up in their excess weight, eating habits, and they don’t even know it. We vie with Mexico for the most obese nation. 2/3 of our country is overweight and 1/3 is obese which ends up costing us hundreds of millions of dollars per year. We hear so much about obesity that it gets tiring hearing about it. I’m tired of it. You’re tired of it. We’re all tired of it. But the real problem is bigger than obesity.

What is causing this weight problem and what can we do about it? Insulin resistance, in my estimation, is the single largest physical health problem in the US. It starts small and adds up, eventually causing all sorts of other health problems.

Insulin resistance is often but not always part of a larger health phenomena called “Metabolic Syndrome”, a name for a large number of health risk factors which often interact with each other and contribute eventually to heart disease.

First, a little education:

What is insulin? (From www.nih.gov)
Insulin is a hormone made in the pancreas, an organ located behind the stomach. The pancreas contains clusters of cells called islets. Beta cells within the islets make insulin and release it into the blood.

Insulin plays a major role in metabolism—the way the body uses digested food for energy. The digestive tract breaks down carbohydrates—sugars and starches found in many foods—into glucose. Glucose is a form of sugar that enters the bloodstream. With the help of insulin, cells throughout the body absorb glucose and use it for energy.

Insulin's Role in Blood Glucose Control
When blood glucose levels rise after a meal, the pancreas releases insulin into the blood. Insulin and glucose then travel in the blood to cells throughout the body.

• Insulin helps muscle, fat, and liver cells absorb glucose from the bloodstream, lowering blood glucose levels.
• Insulin stimulates the liver and muscle tissue to store excess glucose. The stored form of glucose is called glycogen.
• Insulin also lowers blood glucose levels by reducing glucose production in the liver.

In a healthy person, these functions allow blood glucose and insulin levels to remain in the normal range.

What is insulin resistance?
Insulin resistance is a condition in which the body produces insulin but does not use it effectively. When people have insulin resistance, glucose builds up in the blood instead of being absorbed by the cells, leading to type 2 diabetes or prediabetes.

Most people with insulin resistance don't know they have it for many years—until they develop type 2 diabetes, a serious, lifelong disease. The good news is that if people learn they have insulin resistance early on, they can often prevent or delay diabetes by making changes to their lifestyle.
Insulin resistance can lead to a variety of serious health disorders.

What happens with insulin resistance?

In insulin resistance, muscle, fat, and liver cells do not respond properly to insulin and thus cannot easily absorb glucose from the bloodstream. As a result, the body needs higher levels of insulin to help glucose enter cells.

The beta cells in the pancreas try to keep up with this increased demand for insulin by producing more. As long as the beta cells are able to produce enough insulin to overcome the insulin resistance, blood glucose levels stay in the healthy range.

Over time, insulin resistance can lead to type 2 diabetes and prediabetes because the beta cells fail to keep up with the body's increased need for insulin. Without enough insulin, excess glucose builds up in the bloodstream, leading to diabetes, prediabetes, and other serious health disorders.

What causes insulin resistance?
Although the exact causes of insulin resistance are not completely understood, scientists think the major contributors to insulin resistance are excess weight and physical inactivity.

-Excess Weight
Some experts believe obesity, especially excess fat around the waist, is a primary cause of insulin resistance. Scientists used to think that fat tissue functioned solely as energy storage. However, studies have shown that belly fat produces hormones and other substances that can cause serious health problems such as insulin resistance, high blood pressure, imbalanced cholesterol, and cardiovascular disease (CVD).

Belly fat plays a part in developing chronic, or long-lasting, inflammation in the body. Chronic inflammation can damage the body over time, without any signs or symptoms. Scientists have found that complex interactions in fat tissue draw immune cells to the area and trigger low-level chronic inflammation. This inflammation can contribute to the development of insulin resistance, type 2 diabetes, and CVD. Studies show that losing the weight can reduce insulin resistance and prevent or delay type 2 diabetes.

-Physical Inactivity
Many studies have shown that physical inactivity is associated with insulin resistance, often leading to type 2 diabetes. In the body, more glucose is used by muscle than other tissues. Normally, active muscles burn their stored glucose for energy and refill their reserves with glucose taken from the bloodstream, keeping blood glucose levels in balance.
​
Studies show that after exercising, muscles become more sensitive to insulin, reversing insulin resistance and lowering blood glucose levels. Exercise also helps muscles absorb more glucose without the need for insulin. The more muscle a body has, the more glucose it can burn to control blood glucose levels.

-Other Causes
Other causes of insulin resistance may include ethnicity; certain diseases; hormones; steroid use; some medications; older age; sleep problems, especially sleep apnea, excess alcohol intake can slow metabolism and blunt the effectiveness of insulin, and cigarette smoking.

-Does sleep matter?
Yes. Studies show that untreated sleep problems, especially sleep apnea, can increase the risk of obesity, insulin resistance, and type 2 diabetes. Night shift workers may also be at increased risk for these problems. Sleep apnea is a common disorder in which a person's breathing is interrupted during sleep. People may often move out of deep sleep and into light sleep when their breathing pauses or becomes shallow. This results in poor sleep quality that causes problem sleepiness, or excessive tiredness, during the day.

Many people aren't aware of their symptoms and aren't diagnosed. People who think they might have sleep problems should talk with their health care provider.

How does insulin resistance relate to type 2 diabetes and prediabetes?

Insulin resistance increases the risk of developing type 2 diabetes and prediabetes. Once a person has prediabetes, continued loss of beta cell function usually leads to type 2 diabetes. People with type 2 diabetes have high blood glucose. Over time, high blood glucose damages nerves and blood vessels, leading to complications such as heart disease, stroke, blindness, kidney failure, and lower-limb amputations.

What are the symptoms of insulin resistance and prediabetes?

Insulin resistance and prediabetes usually have no symptoms. People may have one or both conditions for several years without knowing they have them. Even without symptoms, health care providers can identify people at high risk by their physical characteristics, also known as risk factors.
People with a severe form of insulin resistance may have dark patches of skin, usually on the back of the neck. Sometimes people have a dark ring around their neck. Dark patches may also appear on elbows, knees, knuckles, and armpits. This condition is called acanthosis nigricans.

What are the symptoms of prediabetes?

Risk factors for prediabetes—in addition to being overweight or obese or being age 45 or older—include the following:

• being physically inactive
• having a parent or sibling with diabetes
• having a family background that is African American, Alaska Native, American Indian, Asian American, Hispanic/Latino, or Pacific Islander American
• giving birth to a baby weighing more than 9 pounds
• being diagnosed with gestational diabetes—diabetes that develops only during pregnancy
• having high blood pressure—140/90 mmHg or above—or being treated for high blood pressure
• HDL cholesterol level below 35 mg/dL or a triglyceride level above 250 mg/dL
• having polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS)
• having prediabetes, impaired fasting glucose (IFG), or impaired glucose tolerance (IGT) on an earlier testing
• having other conditions associated with insulin resistance, such as obesity or acanthosis nigricans
• having CVD

If test results are normal, testing should be repeated at least every 3 years. Testing is important for early diagnosis. Catching prediabetes early gives people time to change their lifestyle and prevent type 2 diabetes and CVD. Health care providers may recommend more frequent testing depending on initial results and risk status.

In addition to weight, the location of excess fat on the body can be important. A waist measurement of 40 inches or more for men and 35 inches or more for women is linked to insulin resistance and increases a person's risk for type 2 diabetes. This is true even if a person's BMI falls within the normal range.

What it comes down to it, what is causing insulin resistance?

A Negative Feedback Loop:

1. Eat Unhealthy Food (processed carbs, processed meats, fats, sugar)
2. Food Becomes Glucose in Bloodstream
3. Pancreas releases insulin into the bloodstream to facilitate the delivery of this glucose into the cells of the muscles, organs, and other tissues
4. Due to a lack of physical activity, and an overload of caloric intake, the cells of the body are not responding to the insulin and taking the glucose into storage, resulting in even harder work by the pancreatic cells to release insulin
5. Cellular metabolism not functioning properly, and not full of energy, so soon hunger returns ->
6. More food eaten, and higher blood glucose
7. Process repeats resulting in damage to the body’s cells, nerves and other tissues, less fat used as energy, increased estrogen and testosterone, increased cholesterol, and increased body weight.

What about insulin resistance and other hormones?

Hormones are a tricky subject to understand. They are the messengers of the body and rely on a balance to function properly. Insulin is a hormone, so it is understandable that when you increase insulin significantly it may cause problems in the overall balance of hormones. High levels of insulin could initially increase testosterone, but over time insulin resistance could be associated with low testosterone. It is difficult to say whether low testosterone contributes to insulin resistance or vice versa, but the two are associated. High abdominal fat is also associated with low testosterone but again, research is inconclusive as to exactly how the two are related. The key point is that we want our bodies to be responsive to insulin. We want food to be eaten, taken up by the body as insulin is released, and we want high insulin sensitivity. This is our goal.

Problems / Challenges: What is causing insulin resistance to be such an epidemic?

• Lack of Awareness

I think it’s most important to focus on the fact that this is not something that a lot of people are aware of. Over time it creeps up on us, and then we don’t know what hit us. I have noticed over time though I have remained quite active and aware of my diet, I have gained fat around the waist. I am positive that I am more resistant to insulin than when I was younger. My body is just not quite as efficient as it used to be in producing insulin and removing excess glucose out of the bloodstream. But this is not necessarily due to aging, I think it is due more to eating a few too many tortilla chips and snacks. When I cut those things out and make some changes, I can get it off easily.
Many people who walk around struggling with their weight are simply not aware of what a terrible trap they are caught in.

• Industrialization of Everything

There are many unseen forces aligned to maintain the status quo. Food is an industry. Health care is an industry. Transportation is an industry. Health and fitness is an industry. Many people are benefitting financially from Insulin Resistance, which is one reason it probably won’t stop being a problem anytime soon.

• Hormonal Changes & Addiction

Once the body falls into a pattern of obesity, excess fat around the middle, and insulin resistance, it is very difficult to climb out of. Fatigue results, which leads to more poor eating choices. This an addictive life pattern, where the unconscious person is addicted to a cycle of fatigue, low energy, and refined industrialized food.

• Lack of Activity

You can eat a poor diet, based on bad choices, and probably do ok with regards to managing insulin, if you are very active, but few people are. Simply standing up most of the day, being on your feet, using a standing desk, or walking a lot will help manage insulin resistance. Particularly in the Southeast, we have a completely car-dependent culture and people who walk or ride a bike are looked at as second-class citizens.

• Cultural Excess

After 2 trips to Vegas, I had honestly had enough. I had a blast the first time, and I know it can be fun but our country is turning into a revolving casino: people show up to work, then gorge on food at buffets, and blow their money after work, then return to work and the cycle repeats. It’s almost like we are all living in a big casino called the USA casino, complete with the stock market too!

The human body, mind, and spirit simply cannot handle everything that is being thrown at it right now.

We live in a culture of excess: too much work, entertainment, food, violence, media, debt, and anger. You name it, and we have just too much of it. Plus, the only cultural norm we have left is this: You will not judge me, restrict me, or tell me no, and nothing is too much. This is a problem with insulin resistance as well: The body can’t take this much sugar and caloric intake without starting to break down. We must learn to say no sometimes.

Solutions for Insulin Resistance

This is a serious problem. I believe serious circumstances call for serious measures:

• Shrink the stomach by eating less. Save your self thousands of dollars on a “lap band” surgery by severely restricting your calories 3 days per week to less than 1000. Even shoot for 500 if you can. This is extreme but your stomach will shrink and you will become fuller easier. Over time, your body’s hormones will come back into balance.
• Fasting. Try to only eat one meal per day for 2 days per week. This will train you to be disciplined, and help you lose weight, shrink your stomach and it will not be a long enough amount of time to cause your metabolism to slow down, which would ultimately make weight loss harder.
• Stand up desk, or Standing Up. Buy a stand up desk.
• Pedometer. Shoot for 10,000 or more steps per day.
• Walking. Every time you get the chance, take a walk instead of riding a bike or driving.
• No refined carbs, sugars, etc. Cut this stuff out completely and start eating fruit for desert.
• Food Logs. Use a food log to track your intake. This will ALWAYS work for weight loss.
• Reorient Desires Towards Something Greater than Your Impulses.
  • Your life matters and you are here for some reason.
  • Feeling lousy all the time and tired is not good for anyone.
  • Life is better if not lived in excess: One cup of coffee is better than 4, 40 hours of work is better than 80. 2 drinks is better than 6. 20 Minutes in the sun is better than 2 hours. Learn to look at eating this way. Enjoy moderation and simplicity.
  • Train yourself to desire the best things in life like the creator, family, fun, education, music, free experiences, the outdoors, friendship, travel, and you can learn to control bad habits which lead to insulin resistance.

I have another friend, “Jan”, who is 58. Jan had had enough. She struggled with her weight for years until she finally decided to take matters seriously. She joined weight watchers, wearing a pedometer, started fasting 3 days per week for one meal, started using a food log, and became addicted to lifting weights. She is no longer resistant to insulin. When she does eat the rare piece of birthday cake, she burns right through it, because her stomach is smaller, her metabolism is higher, she is standing up more, and she is tracking what else she eats. Not to mention she is much happier and more energetic.

My wish is for all of us to learn about insulin resistance, be constantly aware of it, and be more like Jan than Charles.

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Read Next: Do the Opposite

“Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forwards.” - Soren Kierkegaard

Writing about health is not exactly like writing about fitness because health is deeper than fitness. Health means healing, flourishing, and being able to live a good and meaningful life. I like writing about fitness topics, but I’ve never been satisfied with stopping there. This was a tough post to write, in that I am assimilating several different ways of thinking about health into a story about home. Bear with me, because I am going to bring it together, but let’s talk about home.

Cormac McCarthy is a successful writer. His net worth is somewhere around $35 Million, thanks in part to movies like “The Road”, “No Country for Old Men” and “All the Pretty Horses” based on his books. The acclaimed McCarthy’s most critically prized writing though, comes to us in the little known “Blood Meridian”, a book which is often heralded as one of the best novels of the modern era.

McCarthy’s book may never be made into a movie because it is so deep, so accurate, and so real to life, that it offends all kinds of “sacred cows” which Hollywood would never touch, like the savage brutality of the oft-idealized Native American population. Perhaps McCarthy’s Catholic background, steeped in literary, historical, and theological struggle between good and evil and light and darkness, is what, like so many other great writers before him like Dante and Pascal, allowed him to penetrate so deeply into the human psyche, and grapple accurately with the existential struggles of mankind. The cinematic masses probably aren’t quite ready to grapple with these deep issues like McCarthy does on the page, though a much less complex but still brilliant work of his, “No Country for Old Men” was a highly awarded Oscar hit. Or perhaps the mainstream backers of corporate cinema can foresee the controversy on all sides a movie like Blood Meridian would bring.

In the book Judge Holden is the villain, a man set loose in the wild west of the 1850s in an unsettled America of ruthless violence perpetrated by all parties, native and white. Oddly enough, Judge Holden’s appearance is an almost pasty, indistinct, and translucent color. I’ve included a picture. What is McCarthy trying to tell us here? I won’t pretend to be a literary scholar, but imagine a man separated from any restraint, any connection to anyone, any past, any present, or any future. A man everywhere but nowhere. Imagine a man “free” to be “himself” with no moral or social restraints. Imagine a man without a home, without a family, without ultimate justice, free to act as he pleases in a wilderness of strangers. Imagine a savage brute like Judge Holden, on a villainous rampage to collect scalps, as a possible metaphor for us.

One of the ideals which this country is founded on from the “Enlightenment” philosophy of John Locke and others is that of the “free individual”. But what does it mean to really be free? Does it mean to be free of a home, a way of life, any commitment, or any responsibility or expectations? The things we hear about freedom can be misleading. Are the people we see all around us mindlessly glued to phones, video games, devices, TV, slot machines, and addicted to porn, debt, shopping, social media, drugs, work, fast, industrialized food, and so on really “free”? They have after all, chosen these things, as autonomous individuals. By the culture’s definition they are “free” but in reality, though they are rational, and they are instinctual, they aren’t really free. True they are free from traditional authority, but they are now ruled by other things. So what is happening to them, and to us?

These people, actually all of us in modern America, now have one major thing in common when it comes to our supposed freedom: radical personal responsibility to choose. We are not free and in this sense we never will be free, of choice. We have given up the old sources of meaning, in return for supposed “freedom” and “autonomy” and we now have the greatest burden of all: freedom to choose. This freedom can ultimately be self-defeating because it is in our best interests to have limitations or structure. Even worse, the kind of freedom brought about by modernity is actually freedom from reality itself. We might be free from reality by escaping to these representations of it, but the question becomes then, like Alice in Wonderland asked “Who in the World Am I?”

Every person must ultimately answer the question in life: “What kind of life should someone like me live?” If he doesn’t consciously answer it, he will become someone unconsciously and will have answered the question by the end of his life. We are all becoming someone. If to be “free” we mean to be able to give a law or rule to ourselves, which is the word autonomous really means, then we need to be involved in practices which provide the laws or rules by which we govern ourselves and become. Home, a quaint idea by modern standards, is a place and a practice where community resides and where we can become someone, a true individual.

Caught up in all this discussion is our desire to be free from home but paradoxically, home gives us the limits we need to truly become free. Man without a culture is a myth and a Man without a home is not a healthy man. Every man needs a home, a tribe, a community. All of us need to belong, because belonging makes demands and provides meaning, and asks something of us. Belonging asks for us to be something better, to be healthier, to be and to become, and to journey towards community.

In order to truly be free we have to come to grips with home. Home is where I come from. I shape my home, and my home shapes me. The only way we can ever be free of home is to be free of ourselves. The kind of freedom often parroted, and I am convinced this is an unconscious process happening to so many, is self-destructive because to truly become a “self”, a fully formed human being, we have to have a connection to the past, to the present, and to the future. To be here, we have to really be here- So simple, yet so profound! For one to go one a journey, or set sail on an adventure, there has to be a destination and a port to sail away from. Otherwise, we are just floating around at sea.

Ironically, the ideal of autonomy the way it is held up in our times, actually works against the practices- the meals, the institutions, the work, the games, and the rituals, personal, religious, or cultural, which truly do allow us to become powerful and to achieve genuine independence. The way this fake liberation plays out is that all ties are severed, all responsibilities and sources of teaching and authority are cast away, and all connection to place, to family, and to history is set aside in an autonomy that is advertised as liberating but is in reality a paradoxical trap of placelessness and formlessness. This type of liberated person, instead of being free, is not truly situated anywhere. Like Judge Holden, he is surreal and translucent, and ultimately even neurotic, paranoid, destructive, and self-destructive.

Here’s a simple example: let’s say someone wants to learn Judo. In order to learn, you have to show up at a certain time, at a certain place, with certain people, and do certain things. The dojo must become your home. The aspiring Judo player must submit himself to authority, to a tradition of teaching, to rituals, and to skilled practices which were developed throughout history. Otherwise, development of the player will never happen. Do you see the relationship between this process and the relationship between family, community, and home? If we never show up and participate, we can never truly be free because we are not really there to begin with. Judo is only a metaphor for “showing up” in a real place, at a real time, with real people, people who are imperfect just like us, but who can also help us become a powerful person one day.

What if, for example, all connections are cast aside and no “home” exists in which any of us show up to be formed? Or worse, what if the places we are showing up to be formed- the fast food restaurant, the liquor store, the shopping mall, the casino, the social media, the website, are failing to form a fully developed human being, but are rather re-enforcing a narrative of non-existence, an infantilism, or one in which our primal instincts are satiated by data-driven corporate monoliths, but we are unable to see through the malaise towards a life that has meaning, makes sense, and forms us into something better, a human being capable of virtue, meaning, and love.

Placelessness is an epidemic. Placelessness is an epidemic affecting many of us, and looking back I have intuitively felt this, participated in this, and experienced this for a very long time. But what is at the root of it? If I have to say, based on my own shortcomings and observations, placelessness is a lack of awareness, a lack of courage, and slothfulness. We are at times unwilling to love things, and to love people, to accept the world the way it is, with all the joy and grief that true community brings. We are unwilling to recognize the integrity of things, the integrity of other people, and the integrity and beauty of creation itself. And modernity makes this escape from reality, from home, so easy that we do it without recognizing it.

The philosopher RJ Snell, in his work “Acedia: The Noonday Demon” says we are ultimately unwilling to accept reality itself because it makes demands on us and the narcissistic “free” self, metaphorically represented by Judge Holden in “Blood Meridian”, will not accept limitations to his narcissism, his nothingness, his desire to subsume, consume, and destroy. So Judge Holden is translucent because he is a half-person, instead of a real one. Creation demands we change, demands our awareness and it demands we form ourselves to it and its nature. It demands we work, to sow and to reap the culture that results. So we would rather pretend it does not exist. The same with home. We would rather ignore home than deal with it. Maybe this is why so many of us run away or ignore home.

But going home can begin the process of healing. We can certainly understand the people who don’t want to revisit the sites of unfathomable traumas -the bridge in Selma, the cross of Golgatha, the memorial at Ground Zero, the childhood home of brutality and abuse, the gravesite, or the gas chambers of Auschwitz. But we can also admire the pilgrim who has the courage to go home and begin the process of healing. Who among us hasn’t had this feeling when we go home, to our old houses, our schools, playgrounds, churches, or our old neighborhoods?

The English language is unique in that is has words distinguishing between “house” and “home”. The two should be the same thing, but a house in our language and in our time doesn’t make a home. A person makes a home- in a certain time, a certain place, and with certain people- neighbors, friends, and family. I was born in Scottsboro, Alabama in 1977 and live in Atlanta, Georgia about 100 miles away. My parents were born in Alabama, and their parents, and their parents were born in this same area of northeast Alabama and northwest Georgia. My descendants came to America, the Southeastern United States from England, Scotland, and Ireland in the 1840s. My last name, Godwin, is an ancient English word. But my home is in Chamblee, Georgia, where I work, I sleep, I worship, and I play, and in Scottsboro, Alabama where I was born, raised, and where my family lives. Like so many of us though, I have spent too much time in my life away from home, kind of here but kind of not here.

After World War II, the country’s economy exploded, its sense of religious and cultural identity slowly fractured, then imploded, and the idea of a “good” life changed from an admittedly imperfect one nonetheless focused on the common good, social cohesion, and community to one now focused almost exclusively on utility (acquisition of material goods). Things were not at all perfect then, but now we are now in an unhealthy balance in regards to solipsistic individualism.

A “good” life now is one in which “good” is defined almost exclusively in utilitarian terms- get “x” degree and possibly get “Y” job in “z” city. Afterwards, purchase “a, b, and c” and then possibly meet “d” and get married and have a family while then acquiring more of “a,b, and c”. If you follow the “rules”, and acquire these things you might be considered “successful” and you are “good”. Maybe. But according to who? And why? None of it makes any sense. The stress-fueled work weeks, the urban condescension of fly-over America which is often living by an altogether different code of the good life, the mental exhaustion, the bureaucratic manipulation and inter-gender competition. The caffeine, the mind-altering substances, and the drift into technological escape and human oblivion, and let’s be honest: the downright absurdity of it all.

The problem with too many of us, particularly my generation and younger, is that we don’t have a home. Home is reality and it’s too hard. Home is here, in this world, and is imperfect just like us. Home makes demands on us, asks something of us, and spurs us on to a healthy life. Home takes effort. It promotes patience, kindness, and understanding. Some people are fleeing dysfunctional homes, and for good reason. They need to leave home and start a new one. Sometimes, we may actually need to pack up and move. Some people are in a season of life where they need solitude, but over the long-term solitude is dangerous.

We saw this misunderstanding of home play out in England’s recent vote to leave the EU, where so many could not fathom the idea of a people who loved their land, their people, their tradition of government, and their way of life so much. There were well-intentioned and not so well-intentioned people on both sides of that debate but the truth remains: you can’t be everywhere at once. To be somewhere you have to be somewhere. Someone who is everywhere and everything to everyone doesn’t actually exist. He is at best nothing but a mindless global consumer which is exactly what many large and powerful forces want us to be.

We don’t all have to move back to where we were born, but if we want to be healthy, we need to have the courage to make a home right where we’re at. We need to put ourselves out there and risk getting hurt, risk real friendship, and real communion. We need friendships, we need neighbors, and we need family. We need to adopt, to extend, and to belong, to tap into a heroic ideal of what it means to extend beyond ourselves. If we get too tribal, too insular, of course we can start to lose our common humanity. But part of making a home is asking who we are, what we stand for, and if we are too abstract, too global, and too international, we drive by the stranded and don’t help, because we don’t know them. We forget about the kid down the street who doesn’t have a father. If we are never truly home, then we are never anywhere.

In 1900, just 1 in 20 households were made up of single people in the US, and now the number is 1/4. Suicide is increasing and the number of people who have no friends is increasing as well. Social isolation is at epidemic proportions like never before. We really are all strangers now, and are further and further isolating ourselves from one another- geographically, spiritually, and economically. Ironically, Americans of means spend millions of dollars per year to go places with a distinct culture- Italy, Greece, New Orleans, and Ireland. Why? Because when you go to Ireland, you’re in Ireland, and when you’re in Italy, you’re with Italians. You’re in their homeland, their home, their land.
One of the tragedies of life is that the only person who we will ever really know completely is ourselves. But we are capable of more than withdrawing deeper and deeper within ourselves. JRR Tolkien, renowned author of Lord of the Rings, though known for his epic adventure novels, was actually a homebody. He loved his family, his home, his neighborhood, his family, and his England. He liked to be at home. We tend to look down our noses at people like Tolkien now, someone who lives in the same place and who does the same thing their entire lives. Tolkien though, was a genius and the real joke is on us.

Because I’ve been there, I can tell you that what we’re doing is running or procrastinating or being lazy. Maybe not all of us are running, exactly, but we’re asleep. We’re kind of here, but kind of not. If we want a strong nation, a strong city, a strong neighborhood and community, if we want a thriving culture and human flourishing we need to come to terms with home and let it give us the “workout” we need. The work of tilling the ground, sowing the seed, and harvesting the benefits must be done. We can’t be like Judge Holden, slowly slipping into oblivion.

I recently ran into a mentally and physically disabled childhood acquaintance and friend in my hometown with his aging widow mother at a BBQ restaurant. I had not seen him in quite a while but when I went over at the restaurant to speak with him, he remembered the exact last time and place I had seen him and we had talked. This was obviously very touching to me that he remembered. I thought long and hard about this later, as it ate away at my conscience and I begin to ask myself, “when his mother dies, who will go and visit him?” “Who will stop by on Christmas, or on his birthday?” “If I say oh, someone else will, then no one might”.

I think you can see where this is going. He and I were born into a small town together, thrown together by God for some reason. But I have known him my whole life, from Sunday School when I was a child, to the times when he would ride around on his father’s ice cream truck and help pass out ice cream in the summer. I’ll just say this: that experience of seeing him was the culmination of a series of experiences that happened to me in which I felt God was trying to “show” me something bigger. This person, I knew, I should not forget.

If you take all of this fleeing to the current extreme, it can get self-destructive and absurd. It has gotten self-destructive and absurd. We have done away with the need for much personal interaction- at the store, at the bank, and even at home. Japan is at the forefront of 3-D pornographic dates. Pretty soon, we might not need each other for anything at all- for sex, for procreation, for conversation, for work, for worship, for food, for health care, or for anything. Then the question becomes- what in the world are we doing? And why? And who the hell are we?

As Mathew Crawford, UVA researcher and philosopher (and motorcycle repairman) writes in his new book “The World Beyond Your Head: Becoming an Individual In An Age of Distraction”, our experiences in life are never just “our own” and reality itself is tied up in a social context. Doubling down on more and more individualism, isolation, and loneliness is both unrealistic and unhealthy. Becoming an individual is important, necessary even, in human health and development. Individualism though, must be found socially with others not solipsistically in our own heads. The grounds by which individuality really is possible are ironically only found within embedded communities of tradition, in practices and in cooperative roles.

The idea of a role and a place has become a bad word for many and there is an entire ideology aligned against it. It’s easier to run, to hide, to vent, to blame, to criticize, to drink, to clamor for cheap attention, to rage indignantly, or to just keep checking email. But we need to be at home in this world, this nation, this city, this neighborhood, and this house if we’re going to be as healthy as we should be, as healthy as we can be.

Home demands we really know ourselves and each other. Home is like a good workout because it demands we become fit for something bigger. Join a book club, a church, a gym, a club, or start one. Start a family, commit to a hobby, or pick up the phone and keep in touch. Find a mentor or be one. Meet your neighbors and make an effort. The road to home is the road less traveled but we should take it, because it’s the road to healing and thriving, and the road to health.

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Suggested Reading: The World Beyond Your Head: Becoming an Individual in the Age of Distraction, by Mathew Crawford and Acedia: Metaphysical Boredom in the Empire of Desire by RJ Snell and "Roads to Emmaus" Podcast, by Fr. Andrew Stephen Daimick.