On Sunday, my friend Robert gets up, puts on a suit, eats breakfast, and goes to church.  Afterwards, he and his family have lunch together.  He’s been doing that his whole life and I predict he will do it all of his life, because it’s a habit and something he loves to do.   Even when he doesn’t want to do it, maybe because he’s tired, or would rather do something else, or is in a bad mood, he does it anyway.  Because it’s a habit.  

Habits are the single most important thing in life.  Practically everything we do in life is a habit, good or bad! Our habits determine our destiny.

As we all know, habits, like drinking, social media, saving money, reading, studying, looking at pornography, shopping, lying, and yes exercise and so on, can be really good or they can be really bad.  Habits determine who we are as people.  The amazing things about habits is that if we can only form good habits, that make us better people, we will actually start to change as people.

•    People who aren’t very generous can become generous by taking repeated generous action and even start to enjoy it.

•    People who don’t like vegetables can start to eat small amounts and then over time actually start to like them.

•    People who are naturally a little lazy and don’t like to move much, if they start to make themselves move, can learn to habitually exercise and even get to a point where they love it and do it every day.

There are many other examples of how positive habits form.  In my own life, I always believed in God, but never prayed much, except in emergencies.  But deep down I always wanted to and I admired people who did.  Then I read some writing from an Orthodox monk that prayer was a virtue- like courage, prudence, or justice, that could be developed over time with effort.  This piqued my interest and motivated me to want to do this because things that require discipline, effort, and strength appeal to me.  So I started using written prayers like the Psalms, which a friend recommended, prayer books like the 1928 Book of Common Prayer, and memorization to develop the virtue within myself.  I’ve got a long way to go, but this approach has helped me to become a “person of prayer” in the sense that I am now doing it, habitually, every morning and evening, and throughout the day.  I’m not perfect of course, not virtue-signaling, and I want to do better, I’m just showing you how habits work in this example.

Do what you want to do, even when you don’t want to do it, and eventually you’ll want to do it and you’ll do it automatically.  Do things repeatedly until they become a habit and you can’t not do them.  

Habits are so important that I wrote about them in my first book, Movement & Meaning: Managing Stress and Building Mental Strength through Exercise. This is an excerpt:  

Creatures of Habit

Humans are creatures of habit, much more than we realize.  For example, when we learn something, such as the route to get to work, how to tie our shoes, or how to ride a bike, a habit loop is formed in the brain and we don’t really have to “think” about these routine actions anymore—they become second nature.  Engrained habit loops free up the rest of the brain to reason, process information, engage in critical thinking, and to work on more complex tasks.  

Humans are able to walk upright because our brains have become very efficient at creating these habit loops in the brain for repetitive tasks.  If the brain needed a lot of computing space to process things we do every day like driving, brushing our teeth, or making our bed, our heads would be so big we wouldn’t be able to walk upright.  This phenomenon explains why bad habits, such as drug addictions, which have become ingrained as memory loops in the brain and function like computer programs, are very hard to break.  Repeated often enough, we physically wire ourselves for addiction through habits.13 51  

Charles Duhigg describes in his fascinating 2012 book The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business, how AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) became the most popular and effective form of drug treatment in the world.  AA began as a movement modeled after first-century Christianity when a group of people who had alcohol problems started getting together for regular Christian-based religious meetings.  Bill Wilson, the founder of AA, took the group concept and moved it away from religion and solely towards helping people with substance abuse, while keeping the spiritual emphasis.  Wilson himself claimed to have given up alcohol with the help of the group and so he recruited others to join and then AA exploded from there. 

Duhigg, in The Power of Habit, reveals how AA, with no initial scientific basis, has helped thousands of people overcome addiction by implanting new life-changing habits and beliefs in place of substance abuse.  AA participants gain the confidence that they can change and replace their old habits with new ones.  By attending AA, participants are taking action consistently, habitually, and ritually, changing their life by creating a new one. 51

Alcoholics have triggers which bring on an insatiable desire to drink and eventually they give in and gain the reward, which could be an emotional release, a social connection, or one of a variety of other things.  These “rewards” then reinforce the addictive behavior and this pattern continues between trigger and reward unless the downward spiraling cycle is broken.  With alcohol or drug addiction, the substance itself takes on a person-like reality and binds itself to the addict and the two unite to create a new “person”, just like in a marriage.  This intimate union, no matter how negative, is hard to break away from just like any destructive relationship.   AA intercedes to replace this addictive habit loop with a healthy feedback system of meetings and emotionally bonded relationships in which the meetings replace the ritual of drinking and the relationships provide the emotional rewards.  

We really are creatures of habit, even more than we realize.  Our habits are our life because they are largely unconscious.   A key component to managing stress and building mental strength is to replace bad habits with healthy and life-affirming new ones. 

Briefly, be careful what habits you develop.  They can ruin your life.  I had a bad habit of binge drinking like many college students, and it took a long time to get over that.  It was action, reward, and habit.  Many lives have ended because of bad habits.  This is what happens:

Action > Reward > Habit 

This example:

Drink > Temporary Stress Relief (But also poor decisions and poor health) > Habit 

If you want to start a new habit then don’t forget the reward!  This is how you develop a habit:

Take the Desired Action Whether You Want to or Not > 
Reward Yourself in Some Way for Doing It > 
A Positive Habit will Develop in Time

Positive Example:

Desired 30 minutes of Exercise (Action)  > 
Club Soda with Lime on Ice (Reward) > 
Physiological Drug-Like Effect of Both the Reward Drink and the Exercise (Habit)

Remember two important things:

1)    Your habits determine your life.
2)    You can develop new habits.  

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Thomas Edison, Ben Franklin, Michaelangelo, and Steve Jobs.  What do these names all have in common?  Of course, they were inventors.  But they were also tinkerers.  They were willing to try new things and to spend a lot of time exploring their endeavor, tinkering around until they got things right.  The living and breathing human body is like an invention, something that should be tinkered with in order to keep it running well.  That’s why tinkering is a major principle of fitness, training, and exercise.  You need to explore and find out what works.  
 
Just like the inventive engineer who goes out to the garage with his pocket protector, tools, and pencil and paper, to work on designing something, the trainee should go to the gym with an open and inquisitive mind, always to apply proven principles, but also willing to try new things and see what works for him.  Injuries can be managed, strength and flexibility improved, and modifications can be made, based on the way someone is wired and the way someone’s specific body is built.  Every person is different and every person’s body works just a little bit different.  But you have to explore a little sometimes to find what works.   
 
I know someone who had terrible back pain for years.  She had tried everything- physical therapy, chiropractic, medicine, yoga, you name it.  Finally, I suggested she try a vibration plate, to do some stretching and light exercise.  Almost miraculously, it worked and her back felt better.  Now when it hurts, she does some work on a vibration plate and it seems to always give her relief.  In case you didn’t know, vibration plates are purported to increase the recruitment of muscle fibers, engaging dormant muscles that haven’t been working.  And they also provide a massaging vibration.  The research is spotty on them, and there have even been some negative studies lately, so I can’t give them an unqualified endorsement.  But that being said, tinkering often pays off.  Ask your doctor before you try any alternative treatments for pain.  
 
It’s not that you shouldn’t have a plan for pain or for working out, or have a set program, because you do need at least a basic plan, even if it’s as simple as “go to the gym”, one of the shortest and most effective programs of all time.  But never be so dogmatic, so rigid, and so stuck in your ways, that you never take the time to explore the joints, the muscles, the hormones, and the big picture for the way your body works.  Keep an open mind and be willing to tinker.  
 

• Try working out early in the morning, or later in the day, to see which is better for you.
• Try doing cardio before weight training to warm up.
• Try stretching after cardio.
• Try using bands to warm up.
• Explore different grip positions and alignments.
• Put some explorative stretches in between weight training exercises.
• Come to the gym with only a loose plan sometimes and do some random stretches.
• Try various recovery techniques like active release, self – massage, hot & cold showers, whirlpools, dry and wet sauna, and acupuncture.
• Learn breathing techniques that lower blood pressure and increase blood flow for recovery and anxiety reduction.  

 
Tinker, explore, and learn.  Tinker with your own body and physiology.  Most of us are too cut off from the way our bodies work.  Become more intuitive by slowing down and getting a feel for your body.  Tinkering will always pay off in the fitness game.  

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Way back when not too long ago, people still took Sunday off from work, mainly for rest but also for fun- games, walks, a trip to the park, bike riding, naps on the couch, playing with the kids, maybe a hike, or heck, just sitting on the porch.  Maybe it was the Internet, which I thought was a fad, or the smartphone, which I never realized would be what it is, but whatever it was, somewhere along the way we lost our way. We lost touch of what’s important, we lost touch of Sunday, and we lost touch of each other. We quit having fun, and everything became goal-oriented, task focused, and utilitarian. 

It seems like we are now caught in a trap. Even when we aren’t working, we’re working. Even when we want to rest, we can’t rest. Even when we should be unplugged, we’re plugged.  Even when we want to have fun, we can’t. Some days and some things should be just for fun, and nothing else. And every workout can be and should be fun.  Even if just a little bit.  If you’re not having fun when you’re exercising, why not? Don’t take yourself too seriously. 

Have fun while you work out and you’ll stay motivated.  I once saw two people arguing over a space in a Yoga class. I thought it was pretty comical. Imagine the irony of two women, decked out in expensive “yoga lifestyle” clothing, arguing about who will get what spot on the exercise Yoga floor, in a class that’s supposed to be about relaxation and mindfulness !

Here are some good ways to make your workouts more fun:

•    Get your friends to work out with you.
•    Build camaraderie in the gym.
•    Make games out of your workouts.
•    Turn off the phones, unplug and take out the ear phones so you’ll make more friends.
•    Try new things. Learn new things.
•    Have random workouts where you just go to the gym and do whatever you feel like doing, with no plan.
•    Learn some jokes to share. People in the gym love jokes. 
•    Play a sport.
•    Music can be a good motivator, although sometimes it’s nice when it’s quiet. 
•    Sometimes forget your goals and just do it for fun, and to feel good. 
•    Achieve your fitness goals, because it’s always fun to see progress. 

For most of us, the bottom line up front is just to live an active lifestyle and be healthy.  Even if you’re a serious athlete, you should still make time for fun.  It’s good to have goals and to work hard. I do plenty of that and think you should too. There’s nothing like focusing and working hard to achieve something. When you train hard for something and then do it, you’ll have fun at the finish line. But nerve forget the fun factor. Enjoy the process, enjoy the ride.  Today is the day to enjoy, just like every day !

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