It’s good to get honest feedback from those in the know when you want to try something difficult. They may offer you advice or tell you if your goal is realistic or not.
That being said, don’t pay attention to the “haters”, better known as the people who will shame you or try to tear you down for going for a goal, or improving yourself or for trying something new. Shame has been identified as feeling not worthy or feeling as though you are not worthy of love and respect at your deepest.
Guilt is different than shame. Guilt has its place.
At the heart, that’s what “haters” do, shame others. I’m thankful for rap music and culture for bringing us the word- haters because that’s what it is- hate. When you change, many people hate it. Because they’re afraid, or it makes them feel less worthwhile themselves.
Your true friends, people who really care about you and want you to do well, achieve, and be happy, will be supportive of you and try to encourage you.
Sometimes you’re like a crab, crawling out of a bucket and some crabs don’t want you to crawl out.
These issues come up in health and fitness. Try to eat better and people will subtly try to knock you down a notch. Try to get in shape, and some people will laugh at you. Ignore them.
In many cases be careful who you tell your goals to. Some people will tear you down before you even start if you aren’t aware of what’s going on. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this many times in my own life. But I’ve also encountered more of the opposite- goodhearted people who want you to do well.
We all do this at times, “hate” on others, if we’re honest, when what we should do is try to help them if we can. Hating, or shaming others is really coming from fear, fear of the unknown, or fear that we may not measure up, or that they may leave us behind.
Interesting side note: This concept is not new. Remember Gandalf the Grey from Lord of the Rings? Gandalf represents the good people who will help you on life’s journey in Tolkein’s fascinatingly deep epic.
“Hating” says more about the other person than it does you. Don’t let the insecurity of someone else stand in your way. Take the lead and be the bigger person. Put them in their correct place if you have to. Haters gonna hate.
