What is stress? Technically stress can be good (eustress) or bad (distress), but for this essay, stress will refer to feeling overwhelmed, anxious, and unable to cope. Acute (short-term) stress is good because it builds resilience and strength. Acute stress would be things like exercise, or giving a speech, or competing in a sport. Chronic stress is bad, because it creates a steady stream of cortisol, the stress hormone.
Commuting long hours, living with huge debt, caring for a sick loved one, or doing a job you absolutely hate would be chronically stressful. Cortisol makes it hard to sleep, hard to lose body fat, hard to preserve muscle, and ages us.
Stress in the modern world is largely mental in that we live relatively easy physical lives. In that respect, strategies for dealing with mental stress will be directed towards coping strategies for the mind:
- Teach the Spirit to Direct the Mind
The mind has been compared to a wild horse that we must tame and teach. If we don’t tame this wild horse it might bring us to places we don’t want to go, and we might get hurt. I like this metaphor because we want to be in control of our mind, aka the horse, and not letting it control us.
Neuroticism is a largely modern affliction. The pre-modern man didn’t have time to create stress-related sickness from neuroticism. As little as a 100 years ago, man’s concern was for survival and the lifespan was about 45 years on average, versus 80 now. Worry has been around forever but it is particularly devastating in our age because it is largely irrational. One of the best and most powerful methods for dealing with stress then is to teach the spirit to direct the mind.
What this basically means is to identify and live in harmony with your values, and then direct your mind to stay focused on these things. The values of the spirit driving your thoughts and emotions will create a healthy and engaged mental world focused on the right things. Prayer and meditation are means of working in this respect, if done with sincerity.
- Breathe
I’ve written about breathing before, because it is particularly powerful in relieving stress. Breathing is both unconscious and conscious, which is one of the few things we do which is both. We don’t have to think about breathing but we can if we consciously make ourselves breathe a certain way. Controlling our breathing is analogous to controlling our mind, because we can control what we think about, just like we can control our breathing. Deep breathing also releases nitric oxide, creating a euphoric feeling of happiness.
- Say No
Sometimes we have a hard time prioritizing and saying no. Get into the habit of only doing the things that matter to you, and say no when you need to. This will free up time for focusing on other things, for getting organized, or to get out of debt. Say No and try to live a peaceful and simple life, and you will feel much less stress. Remember, you don’t have to.
- Get Organized
Clutter can have a draining effect and make it hard to focus. Clutter creates its own demands on your time and energy. Every few months, get organized, throw stuff out or give it away. Take a break from buying things. One thing I started doing is every time I buy an article of clothing, I give something away. You can go overboard on this and get rid of too much of course, which would lead to an obsessive need for order and cleanliness. Keep a healthy balance between the two.
- Get out of Debt
We take debt for granted, but for much of human history, debt with interest. was seen as wrong in most cases. Even Adam Smith, the intellectual father of Capitalism, had plenty of warning about the misuse of finance and banking. Over-consumption is one of my favorite targets as a health writer because I have a strong sense of compassion for poor people, who get misled into a life of debt, which literally kills people. Dave Ramsey and Clark Howard, the financial gurus, have done a good job of teaching people to live debt-free. I understand business debt is different, and can be “spread around” among investors, but for most Americans, consumer debt it a terrible way of life. Other than the very basic things, a house and a car, avoid debt at all costs.
- Meditate
Meditating stimulates neurogenesis, the development and growth of new brain tissue, and creates new pathways for a stronger brain. A stronger brain is a more resilient brain and one able to handle stress more effectively.
- Have a Code of Honor
The classic code of Honor in Western society has been God, Family, Country in that order. When you think of a Code of Honor you may think of George Washington, MLK, Gandhi, Helen Keller, or William Wallace, imperfect yet heroic men and women. With the rise of the anti-hero it has become passé to think in these sincere terms, but I am attempting to give you an untypical and sincere orientation of mind with which you can look to imperfect, yet honorable heroes, to whom you can formulate your own way of being.
Your code of honor might be different but it will involve rules of self-governance on how you do things. Having pre-set rules of honor will save you and I a lot of stress and headaches because we will have standards set by which we know how to operate and think about things.
- Journal
One of the best ways to process thoughts, emotions, and conflicts is to write them out in a journal. Far from being some sort of overly emotional exercise of self-indulgence, journaling can create a more rational and grounded thinking response to challenges. I keep a journal and use it from time to time and find it to be very helpful to relieve stress.
- Prioritize Friendship
To me, this is one of the most powerful and important factors when it comes to managing stress. Just like the other things listed here, this is not a technique, this is a way of life. Life is made for friendship.
How strange and sad it is that so many people feel alone. I am going to do more writing and research on this topic, but one of the most important things we can do is accomplish something with a friend. Completing a task or project together, something you both feel strongly about, makes a different type of friendship, one forged by a common bond of deep meaning.
Just ask someone on a sports team, political team, work team, or in the military or any other type of tight-knit group. If you’ve been through hell together to succeed and accomplish the mission, the feeling is more like brotherhood than friendship for amusement. This might take the form of a business project, a travel experience, or learning a skill or building something. Particularly for men, the single most important factor in dealing with stress is to have friends and share a common goal. This does not come easy, as subversive and politically correct society has purposefully shamed men for gathering together exclusively.
- Seek Counseling
Sometimes life can be so daunting and stressful that we need someone to talk to. Guilt, conflict, or confusion can be so overwhelming that we need to talk to an unbiased and caring person. Talking with someone openly and honestly facilitates grieving, justice, clarity, and forgiveness. This might take the form of a professional counselor, a minister, or a mentor.
- Exercise
Like meditation, exercise stimulates neurogenesis and builds a more resilient brain. Exercise releases endorphins and hormones which give us euphoric feelings and a sense of calm while at the same time providing a distraction of something else to “think” about while the brain’s unconscious processing can do its job. Exercise also helps relieve physical symptoms of stress which act as a feedback loop creating mental anxiety in a back and forth motion, by breaking this chain reaction. Exercise every day, even if it’s only a few minutes. Jumping Jacks are fun and easy.
- Always be Early
This is a work in progress for me and I’m trying to get better about it. My problem is getting wrapped up in the moment and forgetting about the time. But honestly, I think the “rush” of being late creates a drug-like effect which is why some of us do it. Sometimes we’re late because we don’t realize it’s giving us this type of stressful high. Or it could just be a touch of narcissism and immaturity. Showing up late is stressful, not to mention disrespectful, so we need to train ourselves to be there early.
- Get Outside
Get outside and get some fresh air and sunshine, which boosts Vitamin D and mental health, while giving us a chance to clear our heads.
- Take a Break from the Media and Technology
I’ve wasted too much time myself with media and these devices. Not as much as some people, but what a stressful and wasteful way to spent time! Most news has little effect on us, so why worry about it. One of my favorite writers, Nasim Taleb, says it makes more sense to read the newspapers a year old, so that events can be properly interpreted based on the way events have played out in our own lives. Technology devices are addictive and have a drug-like effect on the mind. When you create an addiction, you create anxiety. Avoid becoming addicted to devices by purposely turning them off for extended periods.
- Play
Is there anything more beautiful and fun and relaxing than being in a trout stream at around 7pm as the shining sun sets behind the trees, the warm winds blow, and the rhythms of nature flow by? We need to make time to have fun and enjoy life, for no other reason than this: life is beautiful and to be enjoyed.
- Think about Work as a series of Projects
You may have a salaried job, but if you think about it as a series of projects- finish this building, sell this business, write this book, etc.- it will take on a more meaningful and fulfilling context, particularly if you connect it to your core values.
These are my favorite methods for dealing with stress. Try them out and let me know what you think.
Prepare and organize ahead of time and these things will all flow naturally for you. This is the list once again:
- Teach the Spirit to Direct the Mind
- Breathe
- Say No
- Get Organized
- Get Out of Debt
- Meditate
- Have a Code of Honor
- Journal
- Prioritize Friendship
- Go to Counseling
- Exercise
- Always Be Early
- Get Outside
- Take a Break from Media and Technology
- Play
- Think About Work as a Series of Projects
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